ciao down, bella

adventure #2 was incredible.
INCREDIBLE.

i have never felt that free and independent before. i met so many people and fell in love so many times and laughed so hard and even learned how to ride a bike! it was so incredibly romantic and exciting.

although i have tons of adventure tales, i will share my favorite story. It happened just after i had arrived from Milan, and was on the train from Bologna to Senigallia. I was stranded because my train got delayed, so I made friends with the guy next to me, Andrea. He didn't really speak english, but was very handsome and incredibly sweet; i called him "cute andrea". Because we couldn't communicate, we just made fun hand gestures and everyone stared at us because we looked so ridiculous but we just laughed. he took me on an adventure around Bologna to get food while we waited for the train, and showed me a really beautiful palazzo that i think he used to visit when he was little. when the train came, we were on separate train sections but i think he was really worried about me actually making it alive (haha, i am a bit free-spirited and i think he sensed that i trust people too easily) because he actually searched the train until he found me after we left the station. he had brought me a lemonade, and i snuck him into my compartment with all these old italian women and even though no one spoke english and i couldn't speak italian, we had the most amazing time! we all played chess on my iTouch and giggled and told broken language stories. the woman next to me braided my hair and i taught them all how to make string bracelets. i didn't want to leave, they were all so warm and loving... and that was just one story, i have fifty others just like it. i guess all i can say is that i was so blown away by the compassion and warmth of the people i met, and how interesting everyone was. i loved hearing their stories, because truly everyone had one.

on this trip, i also realized that i am much more european than american (probably thanks to my parents). i had so much in common with all of the kids my age that i met, and i really just felt at home. it was weird, but i almost felt more at home by myself in a foreign country than i do in New Jersey with all my friends. is that normal? is that even ok? i don't know why, i just love loved it. every single bit.

this summer is the best.

something's different on the other side

just no more 3x5s
seeing the world with my own eyes
here i come, life!

whoops, there goes gravity

just got home from my first excursion of the summer, Guatemala. it was incredible- every time i go, i rediscover something about myself that gets lost in the suburban day-to-day life. when i go to Parramos, i am reminded of why i am here and what is truly important in life. i feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and radiant. alive.

and i love this side of myself. it's a fresher, realer side of myself. i love the side that isn't jaded and the one that still marvels at things like the sound of rain on a tin roof, or a national geographic from the fifties. the one who says "good morning" (buenos dias? haha) to every person she passes on the street, the one who laughs openly at herself and with others, not at them. i love the lack of structure i have, while still retaining the morals instilled in me. i love playing, i love working, and i love that i can mix the two in this world i've created down there. it is such a blessing to be able to interact with such caring and beautiful people. they are so pure and so naturally kind, despite the odds against them. i love the people who come on the trip with me, who are so funny in their own ways, and equally as wonderful.

i love riding in the back of a pickup truck with my hair blowing behind me
i love staring out of an airplane window for 5 hours, contemplating.
i love being challenged, and i love coming out of a challenge successful.
i love guatemala

this trip was amazing.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

i wake up
i go to parties
i pick out nice outfits
i ponder on things
i laugh too often
i cuddle
i sing off key and passionately
i get lonely
i live in my head
i spend hours learning about fashion
i fantasize
i watch airplanes
i get silently frustrated with the people in my life
i love mens clothing
i quietly judge
i don't regret
i constantly want to improve
i refuse to try and control my hair any longer.

roger that, i will not control my hair any longer.
over and out

talk nautical to me baby

The effortless style of sailors is one that is emulated and interpreted often in fashion. Just yesterday, I was shopping in a store in my hometown and a salesgirl squealed, "ohmigosh, you look like a sailor! so cute, that is SO in right now." Of course I smiled politely, but inside I wasn't quite sure how to react... truth be told, the pristine blue-and-white striped dress I was wearing would never, ever see the deck of my sailboat. When I go sailing and I even bother to wear anything but a bathing suit, I usually don an old button down (9 time out of 10 stolen from my dad) a pair of old jean shorts, and a belt to keep them from falling down. Always accompanying the attire are my shitty old Sperry Topsiders, purchased circa freshman year of high school, Raybans because they don't fall off my head, and occasionally a baseball hat to keep my curls under wraps. The look isn't particularly glamourous, but it holds a certain comfort to me and is without a doubt the most practical option when you are rigging lines, tying knots, and trying to keep your boat sailing forwards. So the current obsession with "looking like a sailor" and looking "nautical," is interesting to me, because I see how the concept has been somewhat perverted. To me, the picture of Jackie O and JFK above hits 'nautical' on the head perfectly. Everything they wear is loose, they have on light colored shirts to stay cool, and are covered up. Most importantly, they have the genuine smiles that can only be from hitting the perfect beam reach with the wind in your hair and the water racing by your side, which no doubt cannot be purchased from the Urban Outfitter catalogue. Additionally, I would like to add most nautical people I know are 50 year old men who can recite alpha code off the top of their heads, and who wear old t-shirts from regattas back in their day. I feel it is also safe to say that most of these men would not be caught dead in a striped shirt (unless it was a polo bought by their wives for a very, very special occasion). And even then, I don't think they would go so far as to say they looked like sailors. I think they would probably grumble and complain about being on land and how their wives forced them to change into these new clothes, and how they would much, much rather be in their tee-shirts and shitty old button downs, setting forth to that horizon. To really look like a sailor, you need a daily dose of sea salt, a vocabulary that would make your mama blush, and an unquenchable thirst for adventure...

first time i flew a spinnaker in a scot circa 2005. notice the bruises, weird tan lines, sunburn, and pure joy... oh, the realities of being a sailor!

from summer camp, our "middies" were mandatory every sunday and when we went out in public...THOSE are sailing outfits right there haha