so THIS is the new year

o, regarding 2010.
since 2009 was a year about me and finding myself, i feel ready to form some resolutions for 2010 that apply what i have learned. i'd like to open myself up to people at school more, i'd like to do more charity work, and i'd like to form a better work ethic. i'd like to make a long term commitment to something and i'd like to sustain my curiosity. i'd like to get really, really good at a hobby and i would like to continue traveling freely and without reserve.
and that's it. very simple, and i think very practical. even though 2009 was absolutely incredible, i am so excited for 2010. i know it will be amazing.

cosmopolitan greetings

Observe what’s vivid.
Notice what you notice.
Catch yourself thinking.
Vividness is self-selecting.
If we don’t show anyone, we’re free to write anything.

y tu mamá también

La vida tiene sus maneras de enseñarnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de confundirnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de cambiarnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de asombrarnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de herirnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de curarnos. La vida tiene sus maneras de inspirarnos.

from now on, we have a plan: one new thing a week.
from now on, we are creating our own paradise.
adventurers, explorers, call it what you will
we are here and we are living and we are inspired, what more can you ask for?

update: 2 months into school

i'm still me. i still wear big sweaters and pregnancy leggings, and i refuse to give up my dad's old flannels. think i might wear them till they are tatters. i have found a new distaste for elitism- especially that of the hipster brand, the most unfounded, ridiculous kind- and a new appreciation for the rarity of an open mind. i still stay in on most nights and realize that in truth, i prefer coffee and conversation to meaningless banter at bars. i still crave independence and i still strive to be the best i can be, but i take breaks more often now to look at the world around me. i have a rediscovered the desire to read and learn and push myself. i love my parents more than ever and miss my sister with 400% of my being. i now realize that my home friendships were in fact real, and that they may change in some aspects but they will never fade from my mind or heart. i'm a little less confident and a little more of a chameleon, but i think that's ok too. i hope that's ok. i am starting to crave companionship sometimes, especially in autumn, but i think it's a sign i'm over you. i'm not as cool as i thought. i wrote my first poem since i've been here last night and i think i like it. i'm starting to worry about my future, but i know it's all going to work out. i've become very good at putting things in perspective. i still long, i still lust, i still listen to ella fitzgerald under the covers with my eyes closed. i'm still me.

seasons of new york

fall, winter, spring...and now summer.
it's official. it's official. it's official.
all 4 seasons.
this is my place, my city.
i wake up every morning to this city;
fall asleep to it at night.
i know where the D train goes,
and i can point out broadway to lost tourists.
it's sneaking it's way into every conversation i have
and wiggling it's way into everything i write
i even doodle skylines in my notebook.
wish i could stop talking about it,
wish i could stop singing about it.
readers, i know you get it. i know you know how much i love it.
but when something consumes you like the way new york has me
it's just impossible not to babble and babble and babble
it inspires me in a new way every single day

hey new york, be mine forever?

no sleep till'...

there is something about the afternoon lighting in brooklyn that gives me shivers.
i love: the way the water glistens, the breeze tickles your hair, and the brief glimpses of manhattan you get while walking down bedford avenue.
i get a kick out of: the short clips of music that snatch your attention as you pass by boys with headphones that are too big for their heads, the rusted bicycles, and the grass that grows out of the sidewalks
a perfect brooklyn day consists of: a cappuchino, hitting the vintage shops or galleries, and simply sitting on a bench, staring at manhattan and watching the world go by.
{plus the waterfront is possibly the most peaceful place in new york city between 4-5PM.}

..mmm, so many delicious posibilities.

...and so i ask, what's inspiring you today?

between green and gray

so, here's the thing: transitions aren't supposed to be as easy as mine was. you're not supposed to find great friends that quickly, you're not supposed to feel at home that soon, and you're not supposed to stay up at night wondering what you did in some past life to deserve all these nice things that are happening. and i know for a fact you're absolutely not supposed to stay up at night thinking about when it is all going to go horribly wrong.
i don't know why i went home, really. i don't know what i expected to happen. i left my happy little home in the bronx and i came home to an empty, redone and overly sterile house. one that it seemed no one had ever lived in. a house that, officially now, is no longer a home.
it left me wondering,
did it only take 3 weeks to erase 15 years of memories?
the pile of music on the piano is gone, the ugly wallpaper in the family room is replaced with eggshell paint, my favorite chair is confined to the basement. even the coffee machine, something quintessential to our household, was hidden away. my bird is confined to the laundry room, and my room looks like something out of elle decor and not the usual shitshow of clothes and diet coke. later, i was driving down the same streets of my hometown thinking about everything that had happened on them: it all seemed so distant already. it all seemed so empty without the people there. and it was strange because everything was physically all there, but yet everything was so different. and even when we are all reunited for thanksgiving break, we will all have our happy little homes elsewhere...
it was the first time i got upset about change.
so i came back, to my happy new little home in the bronx, and sunk back into what is now comfortable for me.
so strange.
still am trying to mull it all over...

above all else, i believe in new york.
i believe in sunday afternoons in central park, filled with bongo dancing and silence at the boathouse.
i believe in writing silly poems with new friends,
and i believe in the power that music has to bring people together
i believe in seeing ryan gosling running, out of the blue, and i believe in eye contact with everyone, no matter who they are.
i believe in romance with yourself and i believe in making cloud shapes instead of doing homework.

but above all else,
i believe in new york city.

i want to go to college for the rest of my life

last night, i went to an irish bar and drank nice beer out of the pitcher and made friends with people in my grade, and talked about all kinds of things.
tonight, i drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, and listened to smart people talk about things they were passionate about- film, jazz, books, etc.
i think i'm finding my niche and it is everything i hoped for
i don't want to jump the gun, but i think i can feel myself growing up for the first time ever.

have to go do my philosophy reading for class but i'll post more tomorrow
...
COLLEGE!

heaven's in new york

oh hi, i'm laura and i'm moving to the capital of the world on sunday. no b.

confession: nothing this exciting has ever happened to me before.
confession: after much deliberation, i decided that i'm not nervous.
true life: I'M A NEW YORKER.

the people here will always be my inspiration.