Thursday, December 23, 2010

betrayed by the look on your sleeping face
you parted your lips and whispered my name
your fingers, congealed, your heart, unrevealed
softened, your face, by the sound of my name.
breathing, it slowed and muscles relaxed
thinking on how tomorrow must last
i curved my right arm into my own chest
building a wall 'round the one i love best.
my soul, unrepenting, i tucked deep inside
the softening feeling i get by your side
i've said it before, i'll say it again
ill not love another, i'll practice restrain
i'll build a big vault and keep deep within
the trust you desire for romance to begin
i'll keep the lock, i'll squander the key
until awake you become and in love i must be

Friday, December 3, 2010

a rare unroast

today, in this moment, at 2:16AM, i love my ability to fall in and out of love on a weekly basis. i love that, to me, attachments to people are ephemeral and fleeting. it allows me to live my life in a way that is complete and incomplete at the same time. it leaves me perpetually striving for more. it allows me to try on different people to go with me and return them if they don't look nice, mostly undamaged. it's painless for all parties involved. it's how i stay free.

being 19 is hedonistic and i think i'm ok with that .

also i learned something new about myself today: i refuse to wait around for people and i have no patience for analyzing text messages, phone calls, and brief exchanges in between class. this trait is inherently badass and i'm glad i'm finally developing an intolerance to bullshit. i suppose i learned my lesson after all this time.